Now before we come to consider our passage this morning, let us again turn to God in prayer.

“Our Father in heaven, indeed we are thankful that we can come once again before Your Word, humbly searching our hearts, looking at what You have to say to us. Only just as we have sung, we pray that You will teach us Your way. Teach us Your way even from this passage as we now come to consider it. May You indeed not just speak to the minds but also speak to our hearts, for these, we ask and pray in Jesus’ name, Amen.”

Now the sermon title that I have chosen for this morning (as you can see on the screen) is “Will You Marry Me?”. Now you’re probably thinking to yourself: This is a bit unusual, a bit weird because I thought we are gathering here this morning to worship God. We are not here in a wedding hall, although you see some decorations here and there. But we are not here to celebrate a wedding, isn’t it? And if you are thinking that to yourself, you are right. We are not here to celebrate a wedding. Maybe not yet, hopefully in the future (who knows very soon maybe).

But as you take a look at these four words “Will You Marry Me?”, I’m not sure what goes through your mind as you look at this question, these four words. Maybe you see wedding bells. Maybe you picture a nicely decorated church hall. Maybe you see a proposal. Maybe you see a handsome groom standing in the front of the church hall waiting for his bride. Of course, you will definitely not miss picturing a beautiful bride as she walks in and takes the hand of her groom and they marry each other. And I’m sure you’re still wondering to yourself: What has that got to do with this passage this morning in Ezra chapter 9?

Well, so let me tell you as we come to our passage in the first few opening verses of Ezra chapter 9, I want to say that at the very outset that there is one overarching theme that almost jumps out at us in these few verses that was just read to you. Some of you may have already detected it. But I say that there is one theme that is being highlighted here. And so there’s one message for us to note and one direct takeaway point (if you want to put it that way). And I want to make this one point at the start. And this one point is this.

So listen to me carefully as I say this. This one point that is in these few verses is that Christians must not marry non-Christians. Christians must not marry non-Christians. Okay? Now I say that that is the one theme of this passage and of our message as well this morning. Now therefore if you are a young single man here with us or watching through the live stream, you want to think carefully before you ask a young single woman this question: “Now will you marry me?”. And likewise, if you are a young single woman, I want to say to think carefully as well before you respond to a young single man who may be asking you this question sometime in the future. Okay? 

Now as I make this point, I am aware that in our midst we have a lot of young people. Maybe you are here in this hall or you are watching through the live stream. And you may be thinking to yourself: Oh, that is such an old-fashioned statement. That is such a (for lack of a better word) a bigoted statement. You have such a narrow-minded statement that you are making. After all, we all live in this age of modernity you know. We live in a time where we know how to live with one another of different backgrounds, of different races, of different family values, of different culture, etc, etc. And so how can you make a statement like this? That is so old-fashioned. 

Now I can understand the response or that reaction. But again if you are a young Christian man or young Christian woman this morning, I hope you can see that as we walk through these verses that fundamentally we are not talking about a difference in race between your future spouse and you. But deeper than that, we are talking about religious differences. Not just a matter of racial differences but religious differences. And what we are looking here is not just a matter that pertains to your preference in life with you and your spouse or future spouse. But deeper than that, it is one that relates to your purpose in life.

And again I hope that you will see that the difference that we want to talk about here is not just one that pertains to your hobby but one that is deeper which is your theology. Your theology. How you view Scripture. And so for those who are single, this message is for you. For those who are married, this message is for you too because you may very well need to know this for the sake of your children or your grandchildren who will grow up one day and most likely get married.

But if you say that oh, I don’t have children, I don’t have grandchildren, then you definitely need to know this for the sake of those whom God will bring into your midst, those young people that you will be able to reach out to and provide some level of influence. Okay? And so my hope this morning as we look at these four verses in Ezra chapter 9 that we can seriously take a look at ourselves. Look at what the Word of God has to say, and ask the question: What does the Bible say? Is God really saying something like this?

So remember my assertion this morning that Christians must not marry non-Christians. And I want to give you just three points this morning as to why a Christian must not marry a non-Christian. Point number one. Point number one. Now marrying a non-believer will cause religious compromise. Marrying a non-believer will cause religious compromise. Again look with me in Ezra chapter 9, the few verses that was read to you just now. And I think as we come to this portion here in Ezra chapter 9, I hope you still recall the context of where we were.

Now here you see the second wave of exiles has just returned from captivity in Babylon. They’ve just returned to Jerusalem under the leadership of Ezra, the author who wrote this book. And you can almost say that they haven’t even settled down yet. Now they haven’t even really settled down yet, now the leaders of the city already came to Ezra and said: Ezra, we have a problem. We have a problem. What is that problem? Let’s see.

Verse 1: “Now when these things were done (referring to what happened in chapter 8 and how they were about to come back and settle down), now the leaders came to me, saying (which is to Ezra), “The people of Israel and the priests and the Levites have not separated themselves from the peoples of the lands, with respect to the abominations of the Canaanites, the Hittites, the Perizzites, the Jebusites, the Ammonites, the Moabites, the Egyptians, and the Amorites.””.

I want you to look at the first sentence. Ezra is saying that the leaders are coming to him and saying that the people of Israel and the priests and the Levites have not separated themselves from the peoples of the lands. Now you’re going to ask the question: What do you mean they have not separated themselves from the peoples of the land? After all, we know that it was clear that when the first wave came back to Jerusalem, they didn’t come back to a completely barren land, an empty land altogether. At least there were people there already or close by.

Now you say: How do you know that? Now we know that because in Ezra chapter 4 as they were about to start rebuilding the temple of Jerusalem that there were people that came to the leaders of the first wave that returned (Zerubbabel and the leaders) and say that: Hey, can we build with you? And so there were people close enough or there already. They were able to see that there is a temple construction project that is going on. So there were already people in these places or close by. So what does Ezra mean to say that you know the people of Israel have not separated themselves from the peoples of the land? What do they mean?

Verse 2: “Now for they have taken some of their daughters as wives for themselves and their sons, so that the holy seed is mixed (or intermingled) with the peoples of those lands. Now indeed, the hand of the leaders and rulers has been foremost in this trespass.”. Now, this is the problem. This is the problem that Ezra is hearing about. Now the problem is that the Jews have intermarried with the pagans. The Jews have intermarried with the pagan people of the land, despite this being the exact thing that Moses told the people, commanded the people through God to not do okay. Verse 3, Ezra says: “So when I heard this thing, I tore my garment and my robe, and plucked out some of the hair of my head and beard, and sat down astonished.”.

Now you see here was Ezra. Ezra was a scribe as we’ve seen. He was a teacher of the Law. He was a man that was very skilled in the Law of Moses. He knew the commandments almost by heart. And when he heard this thing, he was just devastated. You see the expression that is used here. Now Ezra tore his garment and his robe. He even plucked up some of the hair of his head and beard. I mean think about what he’s doing here. If you try plucking out some of the hair of your head or if you have beard. Just try and see. But it is very painful.

And so Ezra just couldn’t believe his ears. He was devastated because he knew this was a terrible mistake that the people had committed. Now here were these people alright just redeemed a while ago from exile not too long ago, and already they were so quick to go against what God had previously said. And so Ezra just couldn’t believe his ears. Verse 4: “Now then everyone who trembled at the words of the God of Israel assembled to me, because of the transgression of those who had been carried away captive, and I sat astonished until the evening sacrifice.”.

Now at this point, let us ask the question: What is the issue? What is the problem with intermarrying for the Jews? What is the problem? Now see as I’ve mentioned in the first point that I made, marrying a non-believer will cause religious compromise. I say here is an issue not of race. It’s not that these people were of different races, different backgrounds. But here is an issue of religion, not just a matter of race or background. It’s a matter of how these people were going to live out a life that is in accordance with what God has said. It’s about how you are going to live out your Christian life.

Now turn with me to Exodus chapter 34. Now we read Exodus 32 this morning, let’s look at Exodus 34. And as you turn to Exodus 34, here were the Israelites when they were standing in front of Mount Sinai. And the context here is that God is giving the two tablets of the ten commandments again to Moses. This is the second time that God is giving the two tablets of the ten commandments to Moses now because the first time Moses broke the ten commandments as he saw the idolatry that the people were committing when they worshipped the golden calf.

And so in Exodus chapter 34, look with me at verse 10. Now verse 10, now God says: “And He said: “Behold, I make a covenant. Before all your people I will do marvels such as have not been done in all the earth, nor in any nation; and all the people among whom you are shall see the work of the Lord. For it is an awesome thing that I will do with you. Observe what I command you this day. Behold, I am driving out from before you the Amorite and the Canaanite and the Hittite and the Perizzite and the Hivite and the Jebusite.””. It’s the same list that we saw in Ezra chapter 9.

Verse 12: “Take heed to yourself, lest you make a covenant with the inhabitants of the land where you are going, lest it be a snare in your midst. But you shall destroy their altars, break their sacred pillars, and cut down their wooden images (for you shall worship no other god, for the Lord, whose name is Jealous, is a jealous God)”. Verse 15: “lest you make a covenant with the inhabitants of the land, and they play the harlot with their gods and make sacrifice to their gods, and one of them invites you and you eat of his sacrifice, and you take of his daughters for your sons, and his daughters play the harlot with their gods and make your sons play the harlot with their gods.”.

Now as you look at this passage, you see that God has specifically commanded that they do not do such a thing. Do not intermarry with these tribes. Why? Because they will make you play the harlot with their gods. And I am a jealous God, God said that in verse 14. And so they will be compromised. There will be religious compromise in your life. This is what Moses is telling the people through God. Now one more passage. Turn with me to Deuteronomy chapter 7.

Deuteronomy 7:1- “Now when the LORD your God brings you into the land which you go to possess, and has cast out many nations before you, now the Hittites and the Girgashites and the Amorites and the Canaanites and the Perizzites and the Hivites and the Jebusites, seven nations greater and mightier than you”. Again we see the same list mentioned here, the one we saw previously in Ezra 9.

“And when the Lord your God delivers them over to you, you shall conquer them and utterly destroy them. You shall make no covenant with them nor show mercy to them. Nor shall you make marriages with them. You shall not give your daughter to their son, nor take their daughter for your son.” Why? “Now for they will turn your sons away from following Me, to serve other gods; so the anger of the Lord will be aroused against you and destroy you suddenly.”

Now here is God again reiterating the command to the Israelites that you must not intermarry with these pagans. Reason? Now they will turn your sons away from following Me to serve other gods in their celebrations, in their feast days, in their eating, in their drinking. They will worship other gods, and that is an abomination to the Lord. But what do we see in Ezra 9:1? We saw that the people, they have not separated themselves from the peoples of the lands and in fact intermarried with the pagans.

Now you see, it is so difficult. So difficult for us as Christians to live in this world where so many pagan values are being exalted and glorified each day. Now we live in this world where the values that are taught by the society around us, you know all the media and the influences around us. These values are head-on collision with what we see in Scripture. It is almost in opposition with what we have in the Word of God. And so whether it is in terms of how we view money or life’s ultimate destiny or career or your education or the culture around us or your family or gender etc, etc. Now there are so many things that go in direct contradiction to what the Scripture says.

And that’s why we know the hymn writer says that “the angels beckoned me from heaven’s open door and I cannot feel at home in this world anymore” because ultimately as Christians, we are people who are not of this world although we are living in this world. Now as Christians, we just cannot feel at home in this world because of the things that it glorifies and teaches and exalts. And you look around you and you see even legitimate things like sports. Some of us were just discussing the other day that sports, legitimate things is used to exalt, promote the worldly values and ideas. And so it is difficult enough as I said for us as Christians to live in this world because ultimately we are not of this world.

Now, how much more difficult is it for a Christian to make a choice to enter into a lifelong, covenantal relationship with someone from the world, who does not share the same conviction as you, who does not worship the same God as you, who has never prayed to God, who has no interest in coming to church on Sundays, who rather spend Sundays sitting in front of a TV perhaps (rather than sitting in front of the pulpit), who does not read the Bible, who does not enjoy sweet communion with the people of God? Now, how challenging must that be in the relationship?

I mean, think about the effects that that would cause not just to you in your personal and individual life but the effects that that would cause to your family. How would you raise your children? What would you do on Sundays? Now, what would you tell your son when grandpa passes away? Is there hope? Now here are people in Ezra chapter 9 who voluntarily, who knowingly entered into a covenant relationship with pagans. They made that choice. And I know we have a lot of young people in our midst. And so if you are listening to this, I would urge you to think carefully. If you are (a) number one, pursuing a relationship with a non-believer, or (b) already in a relationship with a non-believer, think about where this is going.

Now, what is the end game? What is the aim of this relationship that you are in? Now you need to know that you will be shaped by your spouse in a marriage relationship. You will be shaped by your spouse. That is just a part of marriage. You will be influenced in one way or another by your wife or your husband. Now you see, I’ve been married for only four years. Now there are more people here in this room listening online perhaps who have far more experiences, far more advice in this area of marriage. Experienced so much more, mature men and women.

But I’ve been married for only four years, and already my wife knows more about LeBron James and Michael Jordan than she needs to know in her life. And I think that I know more about dramas than I ever need to know for the next forty years of my life. So the point I want to bring out here is that now two people are deeply influenced. Now they’re deeply influenced in a marriage relationship. And you see once you are married to an unbeliever, you will be heavily attempted to compromise your convictions. You will be. You will be.

Remember the words that we read just now in Deuteronomy 7:4, now God is saying that “they will turn your sons away from following Me”. Not they might, they could. They may, but they will. They will turn your sons away from following Me to serve other gods. Now there is going to be a pull, influence on both sides. Well, let me read you a portion of an article that was written by Kathy Keller. Kathy Keller is the wife of Tim Keller. And regardless of what are some of the differences we may have in terms of theology with Tim Keller, I think his wife has written some wise words. And the article is entitled “Three Ways An Unequal Marriage Can Turn Out”. Three ways an unequal marriage can turn out.

Now let me quote. Now one of the ways is this, I quote her: “Now in order to be more in sync with your spouse, the Christian will have to push Christ to the margins of his or her life. Now, this may not involve actually repudiating the faith, but in matters such as devotional life, hospitality to believers (small group meetings, emergency hosting of people in need), missionary support, tithing, raising children in the faith, fellowship with other believers— those things will have to be minimized or avoided in order to preserve peace in the home.”. So marrying a non-believer will lead to religious compromise.

You know the unbelieving spouse will never be able to fully understand why you as a Christian would give your money, your time, your energy, even your homes, your effort to the church. Now they will not be able to fully understand the reason for that. And so for young people and for singles, ask yourself the question: Is this the marriage that you want? Does this sound like the marriage that you’re looking for? Now if your goal in marriage is that I want to reflect Christ and the church; I want to raise a family now saturated in the Word of God; I want our family to worship God in everything that we do; I want to honour Him with our lives. And if that is your goal (I hope that is your goal if you are a Christian).

But then let me tell you. You will never find a married Christian man or married Christian woman on this earth that will tell you the way to fulfil or to achieve that goal is to marry a non-believer. Now here’s what a preacher quoted. Now a preacher once said that “it doesn’t always work that way.”. He says: “It doesn’t always work that way. But more often than not, if you have a great desire to have non-Christian children in your homes or to have non-Christian grandchildren in your homes; if that is your desire, then you should marry a non-believer.”. Okay? Now marrying a non-believer will lead to a compromise in your convictions, and that is my first point.

I’ll move on to the second point. Now marrying a non-believer will not just cause religious compromise. Marrying a non-believer will also cause relational strain. Marrying a non-believer will cause relational strain. Now turn with me to the New Testament to Second Corinthians chapter 6. Second Corinthians chapter 6. This is perhaps somewhat a familiar passage to some of us if not most of us here. But let me read again these few verses that Paul is writing to as he speaks to the church in Corinth. So here is Paul talking to the church in Corinth, and he says in chapter 6 and verse 14. 2 Corinthians 6:14.

Paul says: “Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness? And what accord has Christ with Belial? Or what part has a believer with an unbeliever? And what agreement has the temple of God with idols? For you are the temple of the living God. As God has said: “I will dwell in them and walk among them. I will be their God, and they shall be My people.””. Now if you look just at these few verses, now granted that Paul is speaking about idolatry here. He’s talking to the church about idolatry.

But look closely at what he’s trying to say. He said just like you would not take an idol of Belial (Belial simply means Satan). Just like you will not take an idol of Satan, put it in God’s temple, and where does the Bible say is God’s temple now? Now in the same passage, it says: “for you are the temple of the living God”. The temple of God is in you. It is in me. Now we are the temple of God. And if so by application to marriage, should we then take our bodies which is the temple of the living God and join them to an idol-worshipping pagan from the world?

Now Paul is saying how can that be? How can that be? Now see, remember the words that we read in Exodus a while ago. You know the word ‘covenant’ is being used multiple times. “I will make a covenant with you.” “You should not make a covenant with them.” Marriage is a covenantal relationship. Now see, there is a deep rich covenantal tie in the deepest of all human union which is marriage. Like I say, there’s nothing richer and deeper than the coming together of two people in emotional union and physical union with one another. There’s nothing deeper and richer than that in all of human union.

And if that union is supposed to reflect Christ and the church, now Paul is saying how can that then be likened to Christ and Belial (Christ and Satan), or light and darkness, or righteousness and lawlessness? Now how can that be? But that’s what happens when a believer marries a non-believer. You see, the picture that Paul is using here in verse 14 is a picture of farming. He said do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. Here’s a picture of a farmer. We may not be so familiar with the picture of farming especially as we live in the city, but I think you get the idea.

Here’s a farmer who is trying to plough the field. He’s trying to plough the field because he wants to get ready the field for you know seeding and planting. And so as he ploughs the field, preparing the soil, he has in front of him two animals (two oxen) most of the time. And in order for him to direct the oxen or to drive the oxen, he places a yoke on the backs of the two animals. And here’s what Paul is trying to say. A wooden bar joins the two oxen together.

You see, how nice it is if the farmer has in front of him two oxen of the same height, of the same age, that has the same strength. Now that would be a breeze for the farmer. He will be able to plough the field easily. It will be to the farmer’s great delight and of course probably to the animal’s great delight as well.

But now imagine having a big strong ox on one side of the yoke, and then you have a little cow on the other side of the yolk. Now that would be very difficult when you’re ploughing because you have the big ox literally dragging the young little cow together with the yolk along. And the young little cow would probably not even have the strength to lift the yolk. And it would just be a very frustrating exercise both for the farmer, for the big cow, and for the little cow.

So that would be not very equally yolk right? But now imagine you have a big strong ox on one side of the yoke and you have a pig on the other side of the yoke. See, now ploughing anything would be close to impossible. And here’s what Paul is trying to say. He’s trying to explain that now uniting a believer with an unbeliever is essentially uniting opposites. These are people of different natures. They come from different worldviews. They have different purposes in life, and that makes for a very difficult marriage relationship, causing a lot of strain in the marriage.

And so marrying a non-believer will cause relational strain. And let me continue reading the other points from the article that Kathy Keller has written. Let me read this one passage here, and I quote: “If the believer in the marriage holds on to a robust Christian life and practice, the non-believing partner will have to be marginalized. If he or she can’t understand the point of Bible study and prayer, or missions trips, or hospitality, now then he or she cannot or will not participate alongside the believing spouse in those activities.

The deep unity and oneness of a marriage cannot flourish when one partner cannot fully participate in the other person’s most important commitments. So either the marriage experiences stress and breaks up; or it experiences stress and stays together, achieving some kind of truce that involves one spouse or the other capitulating in some areas, but which leaves both parties feeling lonely and unhappy.”. And she ends by saying: “An unequal marriage is not just unwise for the Christian, it is also unfair to the non-Christian, and will end up being a trial for them both.”.

Now see, no matter how two people may love each other. No matter how two people may love their children alright, an unequally yoked couple will never have the same ultimate goals. They will never be able to find true joy the way it is described in the Bible. And if your whole existence is to live to give glory to God. If I live like the first question of the Catechism says: “What is the chief end of man?”, to glorify God and to enjoy Him forever. If that is your goal. Or if you are like Paul who says that “I live for Christ who loved me and gave Himself for me”, and if your spouse does not share any of that apart from being frustrating, that is also saddening. That is saddening.

Now see at this point, I’m sure some of you may have also heard this. Let us not try to entertain perhaps the thought that my girlfriend or my boyfriend is opened to coming to church, open to the gospel. One day he or she will be a Christian. Oh, I’ve heard this before as well. Some would say that my partner is a Roman Catholic already, just one more step to being a Christian. One more step to becoming a Christian. Now if you think that way, then perhaps you may want to join our Bible study series on “The Story of the Church” to see if there’s a difference between a Roman Catholic and a Christian. 

So the point is you need to see Satan would have us convince ourselves of all sorts of different reasons when you are in perhaps in love with someone else. But ultimately remember what the Bible says that to not be unequally yoked because marrying a non-believer will. It will cause relational strain like the picture that Paul is saying here of the two cows. Okay? Well, that is my second point.

Now we move on to the third point and the final point. In fact, this third point should be let’s say the ultimatum to end all discussion on this topic. This one point should be enough on this topic. And this third point is this: You see, marrying a non-believer is an act of disobedience against God. Marrying a non-believer is an act of disobedience against God. Now, this might sound like a very harsh statement or a very hard statement now especially when you are in love, when you’re on cloud nine, a lot of emotions running through. But let’s come back to reality and to the Bible and take a look with me again at Ezra chapter 9. 

Look at Ezra chapter 9. Look at verse 4 of Ezra chapter 9: “Now then everyone who trembled at the words of the God of Israel assembled to me, because of the transgression of those who had been carried away captive, and I sat astonished until the evening sacrifice.”. Verse 6, Ezra says: “O my God, I am too ashamed and humiliated to lift up my face to You, my God; for our iniquities have risen higher than our heads, and our guilt has grown up to the heavens (verse 7), since the days of our fathers to this day we have been very guilty, and for our iniquities we, our kings, and our priests have been delivered into the hand of the kings of the lands, to the sword, to captivity, to plunder, and to humiliation, as it is this day.”.

Now verse 10, Ezra continues: “And now, O our God, what shall we say after this? For we have forsaken Your commandments”. Verse 13: “And after all that has come upon us for our evil deed, for our great guilt, since You our God have punished us less than our iniquities deserve, and have given us such deliverance as this, should we again break Your commandments, and join in marriage with the people of these abominations?”. Now as I read these verses to you, I think you see the idea as to what Ezra is trying to say. Now what the people were doing in Ezra chapter 9 was nothing short than sin in God’s very eyes.

Now, how many different descriptions is used by Ezra to describe sin? Transgression, guilt, humiliation, broken your commandments, forsaken You. So whatever description that you want to attribute to sin is almost found in this chapter here. And so what we see here is what the people were doing, it’s iniquity. It was sin in God’s very own eyes. But then you say: Oh, this is the New Testament. We are looking at the New Testament in Ezra chapter 9 (Mistakenly mentioned “New Testament”, supposedly “Old Testament”). Doesn’t apply to us, we are New Testament believers, New Testament Christians. This is in the past. We have Christ.

Really? Is that the case? I think I’ve read to you in Second Corinthians chapter 6 just now. That is Paul’s message to the church in Corinth. That is in the New Testament. But if you’re still not convinced, turn with me to First Corinthians chapter 7. First Corinthians chapter 7, the same writer writing to the same church in a different letter in the first letter to the church in Corinth. First Corinthians chapter 7, look at verse 39.

Verse 39, and Paul says a wife is bound to her husband as long as He lives; “but if her husband dies, she is free to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord.”. Now you see the last phrase there, that last phrase of four words: “Only in the Lord”. Now here is a command. Here is an imperative that widows are allowed to remarry. Widows are allowed to remarry. But if you desire to remarry, you must remarry only in the Lord. There is no other category of remarriage if you like. And so we know some leaders will be coming to Paul and say: Oh, I’ve married in the Lord the last time and you know my spouse has passed away. And so now I’m free to do what I want.

Now Paul is saying no. If you are to be even married again, you must be only in the Lord. But then you say: Oh no, this is talking about widows. It doesn’t apply to me. I’m still single. I’m young. I have not been married before. Now then turn two passages, two chapters to First Corinthians chapter 9. Same book, two chapters ahead. First Corinthians chapter 9, here is Paul defending his apostleship. He is defending his apostleship and look at verse 5. He says: “Do we have no right to take along a believing wife, as do also the other apostles and the Lord’s brothers and Cephas?”. Now Paul is saying that as an apostle I do have the right as well to take a wife. But he didn’t say take just a wife.

If you were to take a wife, it must be a believing wife. There is only one category of taking a wife. I do have the right, says Paul, “to take along a believing wife just as the other apostles and the Lord’s brothers and Cephas”. They took wives, but they took believing wives. So likewise defending his apostleship, Paul is saying I have the right to take along a believing wife. Now again if that is still not clear, how about Ephesians chapter 5. Ephesians 5:22 in the famous passage on husband and wives.

Ephesians 5:22, which says: “Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.”. I think that is very clear. See, how is it possible that a non-believing wife will be able to wholeheartedly understand submission to her husband as to the Lord? How is it possible? Or you look down: “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her”. Again the same question: How is it possible that a non-believing husband will be able to understand loving his wife the same way Christ loved the church and gave Himself for her? They don’t have Christ. They don’t understand the concept of the image of Christ and the church.

And so I hope you see that marrying a non-believer is an outright disobedience against the Word of God. We see this all over Scripture. And I say this not because it comes from me but because I hope you see that it comes from the Bible. The Bible says it, just like what we saw in Ezra chapter 9. Now you see, marriage is not just about love, love, love between two people. The way the world would define love because the world has a very twisted view of love. And so marriage is not just love, love, love about two people.

See but more than that, marriage is actually a picture. It is an illustration. It is a beautiful picture of what we’ve read just now of Christ’s love for His church and that Christ willingly lays down His life for His bride which is the church. And the church responds in loving obedience, in carefully handling the Word of God. And so when the husband provides this sacrificial leadership and headship to his wife and the family, and the wife responds in loving submission to the husband. That is a beautiful picture. That is a beautiful picture that is unbelievably attractive to the world.

More often than not, this picture draws people to the gospel rather than draws people away from the gospel. And let me quote pastor Voddie Baucham. Most of you, some of you here may know who Voddie Baucham is. Now Voddie Baucham, he married his wife at the age of 20. They have been married for 31 years and he’s got nine children. And he said throughout the course of his married life he has had the opportunity of counselling many couples. And he said this in one of his talks.

He said: “We have millionaires in both our families (referring to his family and his wife’s family). We have millionaires in both our families coming to us with tears in their eyes saying we would give it all to have what the both of you have.”. They said we would give it all to have what the both of you have. The true joy is not possible in a mixed marriage. It cannot work now because one party will simply never be able to understand.

So once again as we close, I bring you back to these four words as you can see on the screen: “Will You Marry Me?”. Now you see the way you ask this question or the way you respond to this question will either lead to great joy for the rest of your lives or as we have seen in Ezra chapter 9 great heartache. Let us pray.

“Our Father in heaven, indeed we come once again to consider Your Word. We come to a passage of Scripture that speaks to us. We know that Your Word is sufficient, speaks to all areas of our lives including this very sacred part of our life which is the marriage relationship between a man and a woman. So we pray that even in this area as is all other areas, we would live with the correct intention. The correct desire which is to honour You, to glorify You, to do what You have commanded us to do through Your Word. Help us too in this regard, and we ask that You will be gracious to us for the rest of this day, in Jesus’ name we pray, Amen.”

This transcript has been lightly edited for readability.